


letter (things i won't say)

by saltytangerine



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 1940s, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Letters, M/M, Period Typical Attitudes, Pre-Captain America: The First Avenger, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-War, Sad
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-16
Updated: 2019-06-16
Packaged: 2020-05-12 15:31:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19231942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/saltytangerine/pseuds/saltytangerine
Summary: You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and I wake up to you most mornings and I know I'm a day closer to losing you, but that don't matter, not when we have today and yesterday





	letter (things i won't say)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm just real sad. Letter Bucky writes before shipping out.

S

You're there and I can barely think about touching you without the fear of breaking you turning my blood cold. It ain't because you're another fella, it's because I don't deserve you. I've been promised to a life of wedded bliss with some girl down the line, who is sweet enough but doesn't make me feel the way you do. Your nose is stupid and your hair won't stay flat, but to me? You're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen, and I wake up to you most mornings and I know I'm a day closer to losing you, but that don't matter, not when we have today and yesterday. I don't deserve you, I'm not worthy and you need someone who can give you everything I can't. I can only offer you burnt coffee and modelling poses.

In another life, we never would've met, isn't that a sad thought? I can't imagine myself not sleeping by your side. The apartment is always cold and your hands become blocks of ice, so I guess I do have my uses. I used to watch you, when we were kids, eating popsicles on the jetty where we went when I broke my arm. I think it was there that I realized I love you, this love I feel buried deep inside me reminds me that I'm human.

I _can_ love you, and I do, with all my heart, and I can kiss you back when you're feelin' sweet on me after a few beers, but I can't give you a life. I'm gonna go off, get blown into pieces and I don't wanna go. The thought of gettin' on that boat makes me feel so sick, like my stomach could fall right out of me. But I'll do it. I'll do it if I can stop the war ever comin' this side of the Atlantic. I'll do it if I can stop it comin' to you. I'll come face to face with Hitler and kill him with my bare hands if it means you're gonna be ok. I'm gonna miss sharing my bed with you, pal. I'll miss your cold feet and how you curl up to my back when you didn't think I'm awake. I'll miss lovin' on you in the mornings and I'll miss you when I see blond hair on another. You really ruined that color for me, didnt you, sweetheart?

I'm so scared and I haven't even gone. Will you forget me and move on? Am I gonna come back to a broad in your pocket and a kid on the way? War is a bitch and she's comin' for me and I guess I'll come back and I'll finally find that girl and live my miserable life, only made bearable by visiting you on a weekend. What will I do? I guess the big question is am I gonna come back at all? If I do, will I come back as me?

 

With endless love

B

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry about that, guys :/ come find me on twitter as saltietangerine and we can be sad about hopeless Bucky Barnes together


End file.
